I’m faced with a question I don’t know how to answer once again.

photo by andreaweckerle.com

“So, What do you do?”

I’ve struggled with this question for years.  When I was a stay-at-home Mom it was very hard for me to answer.  I wanted to give my life choice justice.  Gosh, where do you start?  Which hat do you want to know about?  When I was a Realtor I could answer the question with ease.  Real estate is easier to explain.  After real estate, the question became a joke.  I went to a lot of networking events, tweet-ups and social events where it was important to answer that question well.

During that phase of my life, my husband and I came up with a list of answers, “Well, I do what ever I want.”  (No respect with that one.)  ” I am a professional poll dance instructor.”  (this one I could not say without laughing)  ”I am a professional networker.” (what is that?)

I am faced with the dilemma again.  What will I say when I’m asked with the defining question, “What do you do?”

First of all, I am deeply thankful for all my choices in life.  I am grateful to live in a country that still has a dream. I can be or do anything I set my mind to.

However, I love the Italian saying, “La dolcezza di non fare niente!”  The sweetness of doing nothing.   That just isn’t acceptable in our culture that values DOING.  Maybe that is why I am so drawn to Italy.

I went to see the premier of Eat, Pray, Love with my friend Kelly Gingery.  It had been a long time since I read the book.  I was hoping to be more inspired to travel.  However, the movie seemed to be focused more on the choices we make and the choices we have or don’t have as women.

The movie reminded me of a conversation Elizabeth Gilbert had with her friends in Italy.  They were coming up with words for major cities.  New York~achieve.  Los Angeles~succeed.  Stockholm~conform.  Rome~SEX.  In their opinion every city has a word.  Elizabeth Gilbert was confronted with the question, “What is your word?”  (Marriage, Family, Achieve, Depression, Seek, Pleasure, etc.)

Now I am curious.  What is my word?

Of course, I’d like to discover my word and not be labeled by others.  I think it is sad how we label people without really knowing who they are.

For Mother’s day my sweet daughter bought me a Money Tree.  She thought it would help me with a fund I was collecting.  On her card she wrote, “PS.  you can’t kill it because it is resilient!  This money tree isn’t going anywhere.”  RESILIENT.  That spoke to me.  Boy does my daughter know me!

So, I prefer the question, “What is your word?”  I love how it sounds in Italian, “quello che è la Sua parola?”  To me, it says who are you?  What are you all about?  What is important to you?  I’d like to know you.

So, what is your word?

Doing Life! Eat Pray Love, identity, journey, The sweetness of doing nothing, Tiffany Eckhardt, travel

Erin on the front porch of her shack

 

I have had the privilege of knowing Erin Lee for over 10 years.  Erin was our generous neighbor in West Point Mississippi who allowed us to “borrow” her electricity as we renovated an old home next to her.  I think she was just happy someone was going to fix the place up. 

Erin is a very successful Nurse Practitioner, now working in Memphis, TN.  I have always admired how she put herself through college to pursue nursing, which she seems to have a natural talent for.    

Although she loves her job as a Nurse Practitioner, Erin has recently added business women to her title.  Erin is a visionary when it comes to decorating and designing.  Her home in West Point was a page out of Better Homes and Garden.  I love that everything in her home has some kind of story.  Currently Erin lives in a three story loft condo in downtown Memphis that she has renovated and gave her personal touch.  Erin also worked on a condo project in Memphis turning an old Quansa Hut into artsy living spaces.  After all these years, an amazing opportunity came her way to build shacks at the Shacksdale Motel in Clarksdale, MS.  The shacks are new buildings made to look like old shacks.  (see my companion article Shacksdale ~ A Story in the Making) She is now using her gift for finding treasures to outfit the shacks.  She has definitely found her muse and is having a blast!  Her story illustrates how I envision finding a muse.   

Needless to say, I am very excited to ask my very good friend (I have the coolest friends) questions about her journey and gather more insight!

Erin finding some treasures

Q: Erin, I know how thrilled you are to be working with your partners on the Shacksdale Motel.  How does it feel to now become a business woman? 

A: It has been a real learning experience that’s for sure, but a great experience; becoming an LLC, getting a business account, setting up accounts in Clarksdale and dealing with tradesmen. It has all been a wonderful experience.

Q: I know you also worked very hard to become a Nurse Practitioner and are happy with your career.  How does working on your own business compare to becoming a Nurse Practitioner and launching your career?  

A: Working on the shack is a release from the very serious aspects of my job as a nurse practitioner. It was born from a desire to have fun and to enjoy life in a simpler way; to go to Clarksdale to enjoy music and friends and to see people expressing themselves creatively through the music and art.   

Q: Do you remember a time when you questioned your decisions and/or what to do with your life?  If so, what do you contribute to your ability to get back on course and achieve success in life?

A: I have the greatest friends and family in the world. Any time there has been questions, backslides, whatever, they have been there, always supportive.

Q: I didn’t get the sense you were looking for a new project when this opportunity presented itself.  When you look back at the chain of events that led to Shacksdale Motel, do remember an “a-ha” moment?  Or did you just know from the very beginning that this project was destiny?

A: No I was not looking for a new project. I guess the “a-ha” moment was when Barry and Sally came over and said we should all be involved. This was after they had been to Clarksdale and met Jim and looked at what the Shack Up inn had accomplished.

Q: You have always enjoyed collecting treasures and are talented at the art of finding a good deal.  Did you ever think your passion would benefit you in a business? 

A: Well, over the years, I had thought about having a booth in an antique mall or starting an Ebay business, but had never thought it would be buying and decorating in the “shack motif”!!!! What fun it has been. You should see the looks I get when I buy something that is totally shacky or stop on the side of the road to pick up old bead board.

Q: You seem to come alive when you talk about Shacksdale and have said that you regularly pinch yourself.  What have you learned about yourself in the process? 

A: I have learned a great deal about my communication style. I have learned that listening, really listening is most important.  I have learned to listen.

Q: You speak highly of your partners.  I am sure they have been wonderful at inspiring and pushing you.  Do you have any mentors, favorite authors or quotes that inspire you as well?

A: Do for others as you would have them do for you.

Q: Do you have any advice or anything you would like to add?

 A: I feel that I have been given an unbelievably wonderful gift. It has been amazing working with all the people that made my shack a reality. It has been a fantastic journey. Every time someone new visits the shack and writes in the guests book what a wonderful place it is, I am thankful for all the people that made it happen.

Thanks Erin for sharing some insights into your successful journey.  In the process you have helped me realize that the best blessings in life are not forced or fought for.  Shacksdale is a labor of love, flowing from passion for Clarksdale, music and the people mixed with a lot of hard work.  I’m so excited for you!

Finding My Muse Interviews blessings in life, Blues, Businesswomen, Clarksdale, decorating, Erin Lee, Finding a Muse, Ground Zero, insights, journey, Mississippi, Shacksdale Motel, Shackup Inn, shacky, Tiffany Eckhardt

Freda ~ success from the inside-out!

Freda Mooncotch is full of energy and doesn’t seem to have fear when it comes to pursuing new ideas.   I began following Freda when she ran AlpahWomen.com.  I followed her evolution as she learned Principle Based Phsycology from George Pransky, with transparency.  Now she is the Wine Wench!

Freda’s success has inspired me and made me wonder…what has she learned from her journey?  She has an excellent story to share.  I was thrilled when she agreed to an interview!  We are in for a treat!!!

Tiff:  Freda, I would love a glimpse into your story of success… you obviously discovered your “muse” (that thing you so naturally do that allows you to create the life you want).  I have been so impressed with the evolution of your story from AlphaWomen to your work with George Pransky and now The Wine Wench.  Congratulations for building a network of over 50,000 followers on Twitter, approximately 4,000 friends on Facebook and the www.TheWineWench.com is now in the top 200k most popular websites!
 
Tiff: Did you always know how your story would progress?  What has been the timeline? 
Freda:I don’t know what that means Tiffany. I don’t think anyone knows how their story is going to progress because none of us are fortunate enough to own a crystal ball. I’ve just went where life has led me. What I can say is that after my husband left me when I was two months pregnant at 18, I was stuck. Being stuck was such an uncomfortable feeling. I was very needy and dependent and but not for my parents I don’t know where I would have ended up. That feeling always hovered over me and I hated it. I hated being so dependent and little by little I started climbing out of the whole that I got myself into. I wouldn’t change anything I’ve been through because it has shaped me into the person I am today. I’ve launched many projects from a day care center to owning my own real estate company, mortgage company and than a social media company AlphaWomen.com. While I was financially “successful” in the real estate and mortgage company, I was personally unsuccessful with my relationship with my son. The very things that drove me and what outsiders commended me on was the very thing that was keeping me from experiencing true joy, satisfaction and connection with the people I loved.
 
Tiff:Was there a incisive incident in your journey that caused you to move towards your success?
Freda: There was an incisive incident that caused me to move away from the traditional idea of “success” because it was killing me emotionally, physically and spiritually. The best thing that happened to me was having to close down AlphaWomen.com. I was at a crossroad and had to come to the realization that I’d put all myself worth in having a career and being successful. My work and whether or not I made it would ultimately determine if I had value. I had to let go of that crazy notion and realize that is just not true. I realized I wanted to be happy and content more than I wanted to successful. I wanted to have a fantastic relationship with my son, my siblings and people instead of having a bunch of money and nice toys. I learned what happiness was, what love was, what it is to be content and satisfied even though you don’t get what you want.
 
 
Tiff: What drives you?  What do you hope for yourself and your family?
Freda:I used to be driven and now I just simply drive. I’m not driven anymore but just really enjoy life. I have a full life whether I’m financially successful or not and that is all I care about at the end of the day. I don’t want my son to go through his 20’s driven and chasing after empty things that will never satisfy him. I want him to be average and live an average life. I want him to recognize that things aren’t what makes people happy but it is being able to slow down and really appreciate yourself, and those around you. When you’re driven you tend to have tunnel vision and your eye is always on the prize. Many times you get to the prize and still feel really empty and you set up another prize/goal and off and running you go. I liken it to a dog playing fetch. I want my son to be a river dog as I have become a river dog and am not chasing imaginary bones that I throw to myself. This is a life of misery, loneliness and emptiness. At the very fabric of our nature we were created and made for connection and relationships.  In that regards, I’m truly successful!
 
Tiff:Did you have times when you questioned your journey?  What did you use to keep grounded?  What kept you from wanting to jump off the cliff?
Freda: All the time. It is human to question the difficult, challenging times. That is when your faith and your feelings must part company and you over ride your feelings with your faith. That takes trust that everything will work out no matter how terrible it might seem in the moment. It is when we get attached to a certain outcome that gets us into trouble because many times things never work out the way we anticipate them to. When we allow our happiness to rise and fall with our circumstances we become victims and believe we have very little control over happiness. Truth be told, we decide how we are going to see our life. Many people in very similar situations and circumstances see opportunity while others see doom. This is what keeps me grounded. If I’m having a bad outlook on something, I know in a few hours if not minutes it will change once I get my bearings back. Nothing is “forever” only in our minds if we accept what we see as fact and reality. Many times I don’t even have to try and change the circumstance or situation I just give myself sometime and come back and see things completely different. I didn’t have this before.
 
Tiff:When did you realise that you were successful?  What is your definition of success?
Freda:I don’t know. I’m successful because my son loves me with such intensity and I love him the same way. I’m successful because my parents and I intensely love each other and we all get along so well. I’m successful because my two sisters and I totally respect and admire each other and we all have such a great time together that no matter what happens we will get through it because we have each other. I’m successful because I have great people in my life. That is how I define success and in that regard…I am a huge success.
 
Tiff: I understand the downside of being an entrepreneur is the investment of time and resources.  What has surprised you about the cost of your success? 
Freda: It is true that when you run your own business there is no 9 to 5, it is 24/7. Not to mention vacations and those types of things. But I love that I don’t work in corporate America. I love being able to contribute to society in a way that I find meaningful and not being told what to do. I’m too creative to be in a box, while other people thrive in those types of environments. I die. I can work in my pajamas and pretty much dictate my schedule, go to bed late and wake up late when I want. For the most part, I love meeting and working with all the amazing people I get to work with on any given day!
 
Tiff: If you were just starting out equipped with the knowledge you have now….what questions would you ask yourself, what advice would you offer or how would you pursue a “muse”? 
Freda: I don’t know. My motto is just go with the flow, life takes care of itself if you let it. I feel like because I’m so laid back in my approach to life and business, not desperate to move left or right, I see things. I see many opportunities and am able to take advantage of them. I see people and their talents and capabilities. I see ways to improve what I’m doing rather than worrying about how it’s all gonna turn out. When we get desperate or anxious we shut down our ability to see more than just the moment and past our fears, and crazy thinking. When we are calm, we can approach life as if it happens great, but if it doesn’t that is okay too; I’m still gonna be okay as a person. Then life gets fun and interesting because you SEE with different eyes that what you were used to seeing.
 
Tiff: Any favorite authors/books or entrepreneurs that you look up to?
Freda:George Pransky and Pransky & Associates
 
Tiff:Is there anything you would like to add?  Is there any sneak peaks into upcoming news at TheWineWench?
Freda: People spend their entire lives searching for happiness outside themselves and thinking it is in a person, a thing or a career. Your happiness has always been there right in front of you, inside of you. No one can take that away from you. Much like a film projector your mind projects your thoughts out your eyeballs onto a screen that makes up your reality. No one else will see through your eyes and that is why everyone has separate realities. You can see things one way or wait a few minutes and let your thoughts change, your mood elevate, and see things in a completely different light. This happens to us on a daily basis but it is awesome when you understand the mechanics behind human psychological functioning and can learn to use it for you instead of against you. This takes away your fear of what is happening in your mind when you see it as just thought.  When you stop chasing after the better version of yourself, relax and embrace yourself and your life such as it is, you give others permission to do the same. You will naturally evolve without force feeding yourself and are more open than constantly being focused on how you are doing or your performance. Don’t be afraid of what others think, let your light shine, as a result you empower and give permission to others around you to let their lights shine too!
 
We launch TheWineWenchShoppe.com later this month. On June 1st we will be launching our wine clubs. Our wine shop will be open for business in Hodgkins later this month. In the fall we will be doing great wine gift baskets with cheeses, chocolates, spreads, and charcuterie. And sit back, relax and drink some great wine! Life is good.
 
Tiff:Freda, Thanks so much for your time!   I have thoroughly enjoyed watching your story progress.  Once again, you have inpired me to shift my focus from preformance to really enjoying life with the true gifts I do have…. family, friends and a love of life.  May you continue to enjoy the  journey as you go with the flow!!!

Finding My Muse Interviews AlphaWomen, entrepreneur, finding your muse, Freda Mooncotch, George Pransky, incisive incident, journey, success, Tiffany Eckhardt, transparency, WineWench

I am restless.

Finding My Muse Interviews A Thousand Miles, Finding a Muse, Four Hour Work Week, journey, Rework, success, Tiffany Eckhardt

Road Trip…Memphis & New Orleans

Finally back to normal (what ever that is) from my trip to Memphis and New Orleans.  My husband, Jeff, and our good friend Suz took a road trip this month. By now you probably got it…I love to travel.  Although the fourteen hour drive back from New Orleans wiped me out, I would not have changed a single thing…it is all apart of the journey.

Our journey first took us to Memphis, TN.  We stayed with a dear, long time friend, Erin.  Erin lives in a downtown neighborhood of Memphis in an incredible three story condo with a balcony that overlooks the Mississippi River.  I love hanging out on her balcony watching the sun rise and set.  It is the kind of place I dream of living in.  Another Memphis friend, Willfredo, lives next door to Erin and just opened Revolution Salon.  Willfredo took one look at my hair and insisted on working his magic.  A great start to an evening of dancing at the Rum Boogie (where you eat.drink.boogie.repeat) and then off to Silky’s to hear dueling pianos.  I have great memories of that evening.  I love experiencing the culture of other cities.  But what I love most is people….I love my friends in Memphis and getting a chance to spend time with them!  After eating breakfast at the BluePlate Cafe, the biggest and best breakfast in Memphis, we had to say our good byes.  Bitter sweet, as we are on our way to New Orleans, another favorite city.

New Orleans has a culture all it’s own.  I love Jackson Square, music in the air, the street performers, the European architecture, cajun food, seafood, beignets, Zydeco music, dancing until wee hours of the night, being called “darling” and “honey”, the sweet sound of a southern accent, the garden district, the wharehouse district, the balconies that are draped with beautiful flowers and ivy, southern hospitality and most of all…the people!  

We met up with Jeff’s parents Ginger and Paul, and their friend Dave from Houston.  This has become a tradition since the weekend Katrina hit.  Families and friends met to surprise Paul on his 60th birthday.  We began our stay in New Orleans right by having dinner at Desire an Oyster bar in the Royal Sonesta Hotel.  The food is great!  However, our waitress Joann, who hugs us all like old lost friends every time we eat there, is definitely greater.  She is a survivor of Katrina…I love her.  And to top it off…Suz displayed bravery by trying an Oyster. 

Truth Be Told….I wouldn’t even try an Oyster!

Some of our favorite restaraunts… Franksmakes a great Muffaletta and has the best balcony view where you can soak in the music from two different patio restaurants.  A strong tradition is eating Barbecue Shrimp at Pascal Manales.  Located in the heart of a Garden District neighborhood.  This classy restaraunt brings out huge white bibs to tie on before they serve the shrimp that floats in a bowl of butter.  Their bread pudding is also the best in New Orleans. 

Although Bourbon St. is lined with great bars, our favorite is at Tropical Isle.  Our favorite Zydeco band plays at 5pm. Waylon starts the evening off right and is hilarious!  Timmy gets all the gals to play the washboard with him.  We didn’t get to see Timmy this trip.  But spent a whole evening dancing and trying out the washboard with Waylon’s Dad and celebrated my birthday in style.  We met a fun loving couple who has an apartment on Royal.  I told them of my love of New Orleans and how I dream of living there someday.  They promised to help me find an apartment when I am ready to make the move.  Another local couple that regularly shows up at the Tropical Isles with their pet monkey…that monkey is so cute.  Suz had fun singing with the band and decides that a birthday spanking was in order for me….eeks.  Yes, Suz broke the paddle on the final 39th whack.  Definitely left a mark.  I left with a cool paddle signed by everyone in the bar though.  Once again, it is the people that made it special.  I love the band, my new friends and my special souvenir. 

Various experiences:  We met a Harley Dude who lives in New Orleans.  He parked his Harley on Bourbon St. near the Harely Bar.  He said at least three times, “Thank you for coming”.  Again, it’s the people.  Suz was choosen to participate in a street magic show.  She did a great job!  There are numerous street performers who fill the streets of the French Corner with music and atmosphere.  This is how they make a living.  I enjoyed the artistic buses found throughout New Orleans. On the River Walk I found one that spoke to me and depics my life quest….A journey of Change.  “Things turn out best for those who make the best of the way things turn out.”  A Ride of A Lifetime!

I found myself savoring each moment of the trip.  I walked the streets wanting to ech the memory of the architecture and music in the air in my mind.  Most of all, I want to cheerish my memories of spending time with friends both new and familair. 

We said good bye to New Orleans around 8am.  We had a long drive ahead of us.  I took advantage of the time to read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.  A quote jumped off the paige at me…”they were seeking the treasure of their destiny, without wanting actually to live out their destiny.”  Wow!  Now that I am home, I wonder how often I will savor each moment of my life journey?  Will I remember to actually live it out?  Hopefully I will live out this leg of my journey as much as I do when I journey to awe-inspiring cities and make life long friends.

Travel beignets, Bourbon St, cajun food, Desire, Frank's, journey, Katrina, Memphis, New Orleans, Pascal Manales, people, Revolution Salon, Rum Boogie, Silky's, southern hospitality, Tiffany Eckhadt, Tropical Isle, Zydeco